I'm not sure how I've missed it for two years, but there is a deliriously funny
series of pictures of notes to a Walmart employee by the management. One of the best:
The complete list from the
original poster:
- Shane, quit offering extended warranties on the fried chickens -Management
- Shane, stop asking, "Is that your final answer?" and offering to let them phone a friend after each order -Management
- Shane, when a customer asks where to find a product, give them an aisle number, not directions to Albertsons -Management
- Shane, quit putting price tags on deli equipment and trying to sell them to customers -Management
- Shane, stop implying that Walmart keeps the "good stuff" in the back -Management
- Shane, I don't know what "Swinecraft" is, but ham can not be sold as a building material -Management
- Shane, quit putting on multiple name tags and pretending to have a personality disorder -Management
- Shane, the deli is not an appropriate place to practice your ventriloquism, please stop making puppets out of the paper bags -Management
- Shane, stop putting "Stoner approved" seals on the fried chicken -Management
- Shane, stop putting out samples labelled as "Mystery meats" -Management
- Shane, stop putting "Some assembly required" stickers on the 8-piece chickens -Management
- Shane, any free samples you offer must come from the deli, not electronics! -Management
While the real-life Shanenigans stopped there, on the Internet they have taken on a life of their own, with an entire subreddit devoted to
Shaneisms.
